"You said in your heart, I will ... I will ... I will ..." Isaiah 14:13
What have I said in my heart that 'I' will do? This passage referring to the king of Babylon is a caution against raising myself up, against putting myself in the position of Lord and ruler. I don't intend to try to usurp, and in reality I never have the power and authority I think I have. I'm like a child climbing up on a throne, trying on a crown, and pretending to be in charge.
This Lent my pride is ever before my eyes. I'm grateful and also embarrassed. I'd kept it hidden pretty well, from myself at least. My murmurs stayed in my heart - 'I will.' My judgements stayed in my heart. My criticisms stayed in my heart. God in his mercy is pulling them into the light and placing them before me one by one. I'm sorry for thinking I'm smarter. I'm sorry for rejoicing that (I think) I can do something better. I'm sorry for anger than stems from hurt pride because I think I know better. I'm sorry for wanting control, for wanting to decide.
Out loud I say I will repent. I will humble myself before you. I will seek first the kingdom of God.
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