Advent and Paradox

(I wrote this while listening - over and over.)
The Piano Guys "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel"

A sadness permeates me this advent.  I know the reasons – life…sin. But the ache begins to resemble a longing.  And the cello in The Piano Guys “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” cries my longing.

Yes, this is a season of joy.  But waiting for the coming of Christmas, of the coming of Christ, is also a longing time.  2000 years ago they waited for freedom from captivity.  We are not so different, only our captivity is different.  They longed to be free, we long to be free, and so we should.

The kingdom is here and not yet.  Paradox.  Christ came and brought freedom to captives.  The freedom He offered in the flesh 2000 years ago was not what people expected.  Similarly the freedom He offers today is frequently not what we expect or what we plead for.  We live in a world of sin and suffering, with an enemy that seeks to steal, kill and destroy.

For the first time, my observance of advent is more focused on the longing than any of the trappings of Christmas.  We will decorate.  We will celebrate.  But the joy and sorrow of this year, the changes, the stumblings, the growth, are all tangled together leaving me overflowing with paradoxical emotions.

Come, Lord Jesus is a cry and a comfort.  I begin to understand that I’m waiting, not just during advent, but I’m waiting for much longer and for much more than the coming of Christmas. For Christ’s return.  For a new world.  For complete freedom. 

I rejoice that I’m finally grasping part of the bigger picture.  I shouldn’t be too comfortable here because this is not my home.  As I live and work and love and laugh and weep and struggle I SHOULD be longing.  For the first time I don’t just sing the words, but I FEEL the words.  Come, please come, Emmanuel.  God with us.

Stunted Shrub

“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, on the salty flats where no one lives. But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their home and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit.” Jeremiah 17:5-8 New Living Translation

Stunted Shrub
Dry twigs snap at subtlest pressure;
Rootless bush tumbles.
MY strength, man’s strength, will suffice;
Disciple stumbles.

Fruitless, growthless, lifeless;
Withered, she shakes.
At the whim of surrounding conditions
Rootless one breaks.

Drought resistant tree;
No anxiety.
Life, growth, fruit;
Solid, deep root.
Steady in the storm;
Trust is in the Lord.

Planted in that trust,
Flourish I must.

Betsy Saroni, June 2003

Almost six years after writing that poem it still resonates in my heart. So many days I feel more like the stunted shrub than a tree planted by streams of water yielding abundant fruit. Why? I lose sight of the importance of being rooted in living water. Here the tree has the advantage over me; once planted it is there to stay. I can wander, follow distractions, and choose to ignore the need to stay deeply rooted. If I took a tree and constantly transplanted it, would it ever take root and really flourish? Would it every consistently yield fruit?

I know the answer to my question and my longings, but knowing is not doing. Knowing does not produce fruit. These verses are full of action verbs: trust, makes the Lord their home, does not walk, meditates, abides. Although hearing and knowing the Word is vitally important, I must prove myself a doer of the Word, not a hearer only. (James 1:22-23) It’s time to take my knowledge and live it.

I pray for a verse to focus on each year, and this year it is Colossians 2:6. “Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, so walk in Him.” The Lord is asking me for more, asking me to take seriously what I read and believe, asking me to make changes in my daily life that will demonstrate I am willing to put action to my beliefs. It’s time to walk the walk, not just in front of my friends and family, but in the secret, hidden places that only Christ sees. It’s time to stop searching for fruit in my life that is visible to all and focus on the hidden, my root system.

“How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by steams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers.” Psalm 1:1-3

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As a branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5