Advent and Paradox

(I wrote this while listening - over and over.)
The Piano Guys "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel"

A sadness permeates me this advent.  I know the reasons – life…sin. But the ache begins to resemble a longing.  And the cello in The Piano Guys “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” cries my longing.

Yes, this is a season of joy.  But waiting for the coming of Christmas, of the coming of Christ, is also a longing time.  2000 years ago they waited for freedom from captivity.  We are not so different, only our captivity is different.  They longed to be free, we long to be free, and so we should.

The kingdom is here and not yet.  Paradox.  Christ came and brought freedom to captives.  The freedom He offered in the flesh 2000 years ago was not what people expected.  Similarly the freedom He offers today is frequently not what we expect or what we plead for.  We live in a world of sin and suffering, with an enemy that seeks to steal, kill and destroy.

For the first time, my observance of advent is more focused on the longing than any of the trappings of Christmas.  We will decorate.  We will celebrate.  But the joy and sorrow of this year, the changes, the stumblings, the growth, are all tangled together leaving me overflowing with paradoxical emotions.

Come, Lord Jesus is a cry and a comfort.  I begin to understand that I’m waiting, not just during advent, but I’m waiting for much longer and for much more than the coming of Christmas. For Christ’s return.  For a new world.  For complete freedom. 

I rejoice that I’m finally grasping part of the bigger picture.  I shouldn’t be too comfortable here because this is not my home.  As I live and work and love and laugh and weep and struggle I SHOULD be longing.  For the first time I don’t just sing the words, but I FEEL the words.  Come, please come, Emmanuel.  God with us.

Give thanks in all circumstances.

“Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  I Thess. 5:16-18

In college I learned (or thought I learned) the lesson of giving thanks for all things.  Not just good things, not just things I like, not just blessings, not just pleasant things, but ALL things.  Catherine Marshall's book, Something More, was essential to my ‘education’ as was Corrie Ten Boom, especially her story of being thankful even for the fleas in the barracks that made their lives miserable.

College was 25 years ago, yet I sit today struggling with being thankful for children picking on each other, family Bible lessons imploding and ending with a child in tears, days gone haywire, lessons forgotten or misplaced.  If I can’t manage being thankful for irritations or inconveniences, what in the world would I do with true trials and tribulations?

I am tempted when giving thanks for hard things to qualify.  “Thank you, Lord, for my 6 weeks of itching because it has caused me to cry out to you in a new way.”  That may be true and that may be part of the blessing, but giving thanks in that manner is limiting because I cannot always see the blessing at the time.  I cannot always see God’s goodness in the moment, yet I am called to give thanks anyway.

In America, we highlight and promote giving thanks in the month of November.  We remind each other to look for the blessings around us, the blessings we tend to take for granted.  I’m going to try to stretch myself and express thanks to God for the things I normally would beg and plead for Him to fix.  I will still ask for help, healing and hope.  But I will thank Him first.

Thank you, Lord, that my husband is working in San Antonio and we are living in Dallas. 

Thank you, Lord, for marital miscommunication that makes me cry.

Thank you, Lord, for the failure and heartache in my children’s lives that I can’t fix.

Thank you, Lord, for unexplained itching, thyroid dysfunction and panic attacks.

If God is good, He is good all the time.  If I really believe,  I will give thanks for ALL things, ALL the time.

PS  Throughout this year I have been challenged and encouraged on the subject of gratitude by

Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts  Sometimes the most simple things are the most profound.

Two become one – again!

I see my husband face to face for the first time in 7 months in less than 5 hours. It's easy to rejoice this morning!!
I'm emotional, excited, grateful. Reading Psalm 118 – "His loving kindness is everlasting." Amen!!! I have sought, felt and depended on the mercy of God these past months like never before. "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." True every day, but TODAY I feel it!!! Rejoicing pours out of me.
As a I read the psalm I find myself pausing to pray different verses for myself, my family, my friends. It strikes me that I pray differently than when my husband left. Both of us have learned again to turn to God first instead of each other. This was out of necessity (several thousand miles between us requiring a different relationship), but for the first time I consider that our prayer life together might change. Frankly, a change could only be good! Historically, we have struggled in this area, praying sporadically or in general, rarely coming before the throne together and really seeking the Lord.
But we are both different now. I knew we would be, and I've been apprehensive about the changes and the readjustment. But if we continue in pray together as we have prayed apart our marriage and family will be profoundly impacted for the better.
I was excited before. I'm even more excited now! "The Lord is God, and He has given us light." Hallelujah!!