Day 5 - Lent 2017 - Isaiah 9:1 - Joy

"But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish ... you have increased its joy. They rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest." Isaiah 9:1, 3

This makes me think joy is something You value/desire/like/give. As a Father, you long to see your children rejoicing.  Yet life brings anguish and sorrow, and you don't always remove the source of anguish instantly.  On this earth we suffer, we struggle, we grieve.

Does anguish always end? "There will be no gloom." In a walk with Jesus --- it's not a walk in continual anguish, is it? Does our feeling of anguish dissipate because the source of anguish is resolved, or is it because we are changed in the midst of suffering?

I think of Betsie and Corrie Ten Boom in the concentration camp.  Corrie describes Betsie as walking in joy through anguishing circumstances.  For Betsie they did not change; she died in the midst of them.  Both women were delivered - one straight to heaven where there is no anguish ever, and one to continue to walk the earth with struggle and joy.

You want to teach us true joy.  And it doesn't come from comfort, good times, or temporal pleasure.  True joy is deeper.  It can be experienced in the good times, but we confuse it with just being happy and enjoying life.  Perhaps anguish can purify joy by propelling us into the arms of joy itself. Perhaps joy is not a fleeting emotion but a solid presence.

Lent 2017 - Day 4 Isaiah 7:4

{More than 5 minutes of writing today because sometimes I'm not quite there yet.}

Isaiah 7:4
"Be careful, be quiet, do not fear and do not let your heart be faint." NASB
"Listen, calm down. Don't be afraid. And don't panic over ..." The Message
"Take heed and be quiet; do not fear or be faint hearted for ..." NKJV

Three different versions of the advice to a king with an enemy on his doorstep.  Today those words speak to me as I face not an enemy but a mountain of 'to-do's.'

Take heed - or listen.  Follow my advice. Pay attention.

Be quiet. Lord, is 'be still' implied in this? It's impossible for me to hear unless I'm quiet, and quiet is usually accompanied by stillness.  Quiet is rare in our world.  Quiet does not happen without intent and purpose.

Don't be afraid - do not fear.  Does this mean don't fear my inadequacies? Don't fear that I will fail? Don't fear that I will disappoint others?

Do not let your heart be faint.  Don't panic.  You mean I have control over this response? What?!?! How?

Faint heart --------- fixed heart
Panic ------------------- promise

My child, fix your heart, your focus on me first.  Seek me first, lay everything before me, and rise to face the day firm and steadfast. This is not advice, it's more like the law of gravity, cause and effect.

My child, panic arises from a lack of trust.  I say this not to chide you but to remind you there is another way.  My promises erase panic.  When you cling to and trust in the truth that I am good, I am love, and I am with you, your heart is strengthened and peace replaces panic.  Another cause and effect.

Lent 2017 - Day 3 - Isaiah 5:15

(My 2017 Lenten discipline - 5 minutes of writing a reflection on daily reading. Unintended - 5 minutes of editing too.;-)

"Man is humbled, and each one is brought low, and the eyes of the haughty are brought low." Isaiah 5:15

Repentance is a hidden blessing of the Lenten season.  I need to be 'brought low,' not in a 'woe is me,' or beating up on myself, but by looking hard and carefully at my pride.

"Thank goodness I'm not like that tax collector."  How often do I allow a similar thought? Thank goodness I'm not like that person lashing out at the checker. Or those two gossiping at the table behind me.  Or the woman in front of me with no teeth.  My thoughts, when I acknowledge them, are embarrassing.

Or what about my pride in comparing myself so I will feel more confident? "My cake looks and tastes better. My kids are better behaved. I'm smarter/wiser/more clever."  Ugh!! So, so ugly.

Or the greatest pride of all - the disease of 'I'm right.'  I know best.  Patting myself on the back and looking down my nose at 'the wrong.' Feeling so superior has to be the antithesis of humility.

I need to climb off my high horse and get on my knees.  I'm sorry, Lord, for thinking I'm more special than any one of your creations.  For exalting myself. My pride is ugly, and I am ashamed.

When I get real and admit my pride, when I acknowledge my ugly thoughts and confess ... grace flows more easily. Humility and repentance uncork grace and allow it begin to flow through me.

Lent - Day 2 - Isaiah 4:1

{5 minute musing (+ 5 minute editing ;-) on one portion of today's reading.}

"...only let us be called by your name." Isaiah 4:1

This half a sentence - a cry, a pleading.  Please let me be called by your name!

To be called by the Lord's name is to be associated with Him, to be grouped with Him, to be owned by Him.  If I have His name, I'm family.  His name is an external sign for all to see that I'm related.

I belong.

I have a place.  I never need to wonder who I am.  I never need to fear because protection is implied by sharing a name. I know that someone will fight for me, that someone will stand up for me.

Also implied by the fact of sharing a name is being chosen.  Unless I was born to this name, the only way I can share it is if I was chosen, if I was invited to be called by this name.  Someone wanted me.

I belong.  I am chosen.  I am wanted.

Lent 2017 - Isaiah 1:3

Lent.  My favorite season of the church calendar. Permission, encouragement even, to let go of good things in order to pursue the best thing.

Writing is a vital part of my relationship with God (a part I frequently neglect) so my Lenten discipline this year is to write for 5 minutes reflecting on something I read in the She Reads Truth devotion for the day.  This year they are spending Lent in the book of Isaiah - MY FAVORITE BOOK! - which only increases my excitement.

5 minutes of writing a day.  I can do this.

Day 1
"But Israel does not know, my people do not understand" Isaiah 1:3

I am Israel.  I do not know nor do I understand.  This is because I'm trying to apply my own knowledge and to understand out of my own capabilities.

So often the answer is rest and receive.  When I'm focusing on gathering knowledge and trying to work out understanding like God is a logic puzzle to solve, there is no space to receive.  It's all me - and little of God.

Maybe that's what this 5 minute exercise is for - 5 minutes to rest and receive.  To actively listen and thereby begin to know and understand.  To be like Mary for 5 minutes and sit at the feet of Jesus. (I can spare 5 minutes, right?) Because I'm me, I sit at his feet and take notes.  I think that's ok since I write to add another R - Remember.

I want to know. I want to understand.  Is it possible that the way to knowing and understanding is to rest, receive, and remember?

Weak

A month ago I stumbled across Kate Motaung's Five Minute Friday blog challenge.  http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/

Each week she posts one word and the challenge is to write for 5 minutes on that word.  I thought I'd try it to encourage myself to write.  The exercise was amazing and revealing for me, stretching me, pulling me, provoking me.  Last Friday's word was weak.

Weak

"When I am weak, I am strong."

The foolish things to confound the wise.

How to celebrate weak? How to stand weak on its head?

---from vulnerable, incapable, needy, disrespected ....

---to strong, God-reliant, confident, humble.

I hate feeling weak and helpless yet that visceral emotion reveals a true weakness - lack of trust.  Weakness of strength, capability, the ability to stand firm in trials or troubles is ALL provided for by a relationship with God.  Lack of trust is the weakness that limits my ability to receive and therefore overcome the difficult, withstand the unstable, and thrive instead of survive.

Awake my Soul

Coming home from a retreat is often a slam back to reality.  And even the most profound insights get lost under the laundry, dirty dishes and to do lists.  This retreat was all about incorporating rest or whitespace into daily life in very practical ways, and I'm determined to follow through and pursue the presence of God through whitespace.

It's seems somewhat ironic to me that the method to awaken my soul is to be quiet! Noise to me is not just about sound but about inputs.  Noise can be words, can be social media, can be email and can also be people asking me questions, can be the radio or can be TV.  Quiet for me is closing down those input, and that is what brings me rest.

The other day I realized I was in a room alone and could anticipate an hour free from interruptions.  Instead of grading chemistry tests, checking email, or working on the project due by the end of the week, I indulged in meditating on scripture via the WordSwag app.  At first I felt guilty, but then I realized that reading and re-reading the words, choosing a photo for the background, and switching out fonts until I found one with the right 'feel' allowed me to dwell on the verses in a different way.  The resulting images speak to my soul.  The process gifted me with 30 minutes of unexpected soul rest.