Genesis 1 Around Me

By grace (because there is no other explanation) I opened my eyes this year.  The ever present iphone, Instagram, and photo a day challenges prodded me to document life around me (or take an obnoxious number of pictures depending on how you look at it.)  While sort, deleting, and filing the year’s photos it dawned on me that in 2013 I walked through the goodness of Genesis 1 in unbelievable ways. I’m awestruck by all that God allowed me to witness.  I am grateful, humbled and overwhelmed all at the same time. I feel like I literally experienced “the heavens declaring the glory of God” in a way I never have before.

Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.  And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. 

 

I soaked in the sound of ocean waves.  I waded every chance I got.  My eyes ached at beauty I could hardly believe I was seeing.

Then God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear”; and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth, and the gathering together of the waters He called Seas. And God saw that it was good.

 

Even on my most oblivious days or when I’m buried in technology, I’ll notice mountains or the ocean.  I often overlook the little things. The astonishing assortment that sprouts, grows and blooms on the earth illustrates the limitless creativity of our God.

And the earth brought forth grass, the herb that yields seed according to its kind, and the tree that yields fruit, whose seed is in itself according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 

I saw sunrises and sunsets (well, mostly sunsets) in the desert, the mountains, the city, the hill country and on the beach.  Some of the most spectacular were from a parking lot when I simply stopped and looked up.

Then God made two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also. God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good.

Occasionally, I took my Bible and journal outside only to be distracted by the variety of bird songs.  What a different impact than the distraction brought by the chime on my cell phone!  Other unbelievable moments: seeing crabs scamper out of rocks and almost tripping over a monk seal, both highly unusual for this Texas girl. Even ordinary chickens are amusing when wandering through my front yard or down a sidewalk.

Then God said, “Let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens.”  And God saw that it was good. 

Man, created in the image of God, also creates. This year I delighted in my personal favorites of God’s human creations and the skill, creativity, ingenuity of mankind.  Evidently, I’m especially fascinated by bridges.  Who knew!

Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth the living creature according to its kind…And God saw that it was good.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image … So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 

 It was a good, good year.  I'm so incredibly grateful.

Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.

JOY for 2014

Psalm  63:3, 4, 7

Because your lovingkindness is better than life  

my lips will praise You

So I will bless You as long as I live;

I will lift up my hands in Your name.

For You have been my help,

and in the shadow of Your wings

I sing for JOY.   

This year I had a word pressed upon my heart before I had verse.  The word is JOY.  I’ve been convicted that I’m not a particularly joyful person.  Specifically, when considering whether the example of my faith in Christ would encourage my children towards a relationship with God I had to conclude that no, it would not.  I don’t think they see any joy related to my faith.  Sure they see me laugh at family silliness and enjoy a movie or time with friends, but when turbulence hits I grumble just like the world does.  (Well, minus the cursing.)

I don’t see scripture making allowances for grumpiness, but I’ve been making MANY allowances for myself.  I can’t continue to call myself a disciple without addressing this area.  First some clarification of what I mean by joy. 

1. 1.       Joy is a choice.  Really my word of the year is two words: CHOOSE JOY.  Joy is not something that happens to me occasionally or something that falls upon me.  Joy is a response that I have complete control over.  Circumstances do not dictate my joy;  I determine my joy.
2. 2.       Joy is action oriented.  I tend to think of joy as a feeling, thus when I respond to situations based on how I feel, joy is usually missing. When I researched the word joy/joyful/rejoice in Psalm 63, the Hebrew words used refer to a joyful voice, singing, triumphing, shouting, crying out.  Expressing joy this way is an act of my will that can be completely separated from how I feel in the moment.  I see this ‘will’ reflect in the Psalm – “my lips WILL praise you,” “I WILL bless you,” “I WILL lift up my hands,” and “I (WILL) sing for joy,” where the will is implied.  (One of the other Hebrew words for joy comes from a word meaning ‘to spin round.’ I suspect choosing to spin round singing praises on a regular basis would change my life.)
3. 3.       Choosing joy is choosing to trust.  Verse 3 starts with “because your lovingkindness is better than life my lips will praise You.” When I choose joy I am saying, “I don’t see it right now, but I believe Your lovingkindness is better than life.  I believe You are good.  I trust there is something greater going on that I am missing.”

Joy in the face of tragedy and sorrow is a topic for a much longer discussion.  Right now I’m focused on joy in the face of kids who have left a mess, long check-out lines leading to late appointments, traffic jams, careless words tossed out by a friend or spouse, filthy kitchen floors,  and people that fail you.  This is daily life for me and historically I choose grumpiness!  I choose a silent anger hoping it will convey my displeasure.  I choose sharp, sarcastic comments.

By the calendar I’m been a disciple of Jesus for over 30 years.  Currently I think I’m a pretty crummy disciple.  Jesus urged “take up your cross and follow me,” but I’m not even willing to let go of minor offenses that fill daily life.  I can glibly state I will choose joy, but when I’m hurt, angry, frustrated, disappointed or overwhelmed, will I?  On my own strength, no.  No chance.  By submitting, repenting, and depending on the grace of Christ I can. 

I have yet to be tested, and something tells me it won’t be pretty.  My grumpy habits are pretty ingrained.  But Paul exhorts that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Who knew that the toughest thing of all would be a simple choice.  To choose joy.

10 Things I Learned by Being a Mother

10 Things I Learned by Being a Mother

1.    Getting pooped on, throw up on and bled on is not that big a deal.

2.    Stuff will get stained.  Stuff will get broken.  Stuff will get ruined.  It’s just stuff.

3.    I am stronger than I thought I was.

4.    I am not as smart as I thought I was.

5.    Planning is good.  The ability to let go of plans is also good.

6.    No is a very loving word.  Refusing is a very loving act.

7.    Letting go is easy to say but hard to do.

8.    We don’t stop being parents when they turn 18, but we stop parenting in the traditional sense.  There are no books on how to do that.

9.    Although a part of me, my children are not an extension of me.  I cannot claim their successes as my own, neither should I be angry over their failures as reflecting on me.

10. Sometimes what is best involves pain and discomfort.  I understand a little better why God doesn’t instantly clear up every difficult, painful, uncomfortable circumstance.  I learned this by being a mother.

Vision for 2013

Every year I ask the Lord to give me a verse for the year as a vision, something to focus on. This year, again a verse from Isaiah speaks to my heart.

 For 2013 "Come, let us go up to the mountain of the L ORD ,  To the house of the God of Jacob;  That He may teach us concerning His ways  And that we may walk in His paths."  (Isaiah 2:3 NASB)

First is the invitation. Come. Simple, but my discouraged heart, full of the failures of the last year, can hardly believe he's still inviting me. Last year's verse and goals were solid, healthy and completed unachieved. I struggles in all areas of personal life management and my spiritual walk so a part of me can hardly believe that God is still interested in me.  He saw it all, but He still says come.  I can't describe how great that is. How beautifully redeeming.

Let us go up to the mountain of the Lord.  I know I need to meet with God daily, but after 30 years of following Jesus I still struggle with the daily thing. It's embarrassing! I don't pray faithfully and consistently.  I don't do much faithfully or consistently.  The picture here of going UP to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of God encouraged me.  Going up implies difficulty and an uphill struggle.

Going up is hard! I haven't climbed a real mountain, but I've walked up the 99+ steps of Diamond Head and the 224 of Seven Falls in Colorado. I'm not physically fit. My kids sprinted past me and waited at the top in Hawaii while my husband patiently adjusted in pace to mine in Colorado. I had to stop and rest a lot, but I made it! How? By taking one step at a time and not giving up.

Going up to the mountain of the Lord daily will not be easy (for some reason I guess I  thought it would be a fun, joyful journey every day), but I can do this one step at a time. I don't get up in the morning well. I get distracted easily. It will be HARD for me to get up earlier than I naturally do and to head into prayer first thing. (Structuring that time to accommodate my lack of brain function will be another post;-) for some reason it comforts me and encourages me to expect this journey to be hard.

Why would I want to stick with this uphill climb?  I purpose to go to the mountain of the Lord, the house of God, SO that I may be taught His ways IN ORDER that I may walk in his paths.  That for me is a vision that motivates.

Give thanks in all circumstances.

“Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  I Thess. 5:16-18

In college I learned (or thought I learned) the lesson of giving thanks for all things.  Not just good things, not just things I like, not just blessings, not just pleasant things, but ALL things.  Catherine Marshall's book, Something More, was essential to my ‘education’ as was Corrie Ten Boom, especially her story of being thankful even for the fleas in the barracks that made their lives miserable.

College was 25 years ago, yet I sit today struggling with being thankful for children picking on each other, family Bible lessons imploding and ending with a child in tears, days gone haywire, lessons forgotten or misplaced.  If I can’t manage being thankful for irritations or inconveniences, what in the world would I do with true trials and tribulations?

I am tempted when giving thanks for hard things to qualify.  “Thank you, Lord, for my 6 weeks of itching because it has caused me to cry out to you in a new way.”  That may be true and that may be part of the blessing, but giving thanks in that manner is limiting because I cannot always see the blessing at the time.  I cannot always see God’s goodness in the moment, yet I am called to give thanks anyway.

In America, we highlight and promote giving thanks in the month of November.  We remind each other to look for the blessings around us, the blessings we tend to take for granted.  I’m going to try to stretch myself and express thanks to God for the things I normally would beg and plead for Him to fix.  I will still ask for help, healing and hope.  But I will thank Him first.

Thank you, Lord, that my husband is working in San Antonio and we are living in Dallas. 

Thank you, Lord, for marital miscommunication that makes me cry.

Thank you, Lord, for the failure and heartache in my children’s lives that I can’t fix.

Thank you, Lord, for unexplained itching, thyroid dysfunction and panic attacks.

If God is good, He is good all the time.  If I really believe,  I will give thanks for ALL things, ALL the time.

PS  Throughout this year I have been challenged and encouraged on the subject of gratitude by

Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts  Sometimes the most simple things are the most profound.

Haven

Most mornings I read morning prayer from a website posting the Divine Hours, a version of fixed hour prayer.  I'm not a morning person, so this enables me to pray when I have no words of my own.  I don't know what version of scripture they use, but almost daily one line jumps out at me.  A couple of weeks ago, what struck me was Psalm 18:1  "O Lord, my stronghold, my crag, my haven."

I have looked up many versions (praise God for online Bibles!) and can't find one that uses the word haven.  I'm not even sure which word is translated haven.  Using different versions and Strong's Concordance, I tried to paint a picture for myself: my place of safety, the high crag where I run for dear life, hiding behind the boulders, my rock in whom I take refuge, my high tower, place of defense, inaccessible place.

This year promises to be challenging.  Living in two different cities is not conducive to family life!  Three weeks out of the month I will be juggling home, school, children and all the responsibilities those require with Vince popping in most weekends.  God uses all things, however inconsequential, to remind of himself and his purposes.  I just don't think it's an accident that Vince currently lives in an apartment complex called "The Haven."

What is a haven?  A place of hiding, safety, retreat, protection.  One week a month I will retreat to our 'haven.'  I will have limited responsibilities (schooling Joel and Anna, cleaning a two bedroom apartment and fixing meals).  Vince will come home to us each evening.

In the midst of a hectic year, more hectic than most, God has provided a haven.  A place for rest, a place to hide from sometimes overwhelming responsibilities, an escape, a place of safety.  When I miss my husband, when I question why we are spending so much time apart, when I'm weary from driving over 200 miles, I pray that as my headlights light up the words, "The Haven," signaling the end of the journey I will give thanks to God for providing us a haven when I most need it.

My current invitation from the Lord

^{Song of Solomon 2:10-13}

10"My beloved responded and said to me,
'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along.
¹¹'For behold, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
¹²'The flowers have already appeared in the land;
The time has arrived for pruning the vines,
And the voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land.
¹³'The fig tree has ripened its figs,
And the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance.
Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along!'"

This passage speaks to my heart. It is an invitation to hope. It is encouragement. It is a reminder that in God's eyes I am beautiful and cherished. I am stunned to think the King of the Universe loves me so.